The fourth book of Tim Challies’ reading challenge for 2019 is “a book targeted at the opposite gender.” Having just
read a Michael Kruger book, I went to a book by his wife Melissa: The Envy of Eve (Christian Focus, 2012).
Okay, the relationship isn’t the reason I chose this book out of all the
excellent options in my own wife’s reading stack. I heard an interview with Melissa Kruger several years ago when the book first came out, and I’ve been
meaning to get to it since then. Also, I try to build theology on a Genesis 1-3
foundation, so the title has always attracted me.
Kruger’s style is easy to read. She includes illustrations and “case
studies,” but they don’t overwhelm or dominate the content of the book. The
structure of the book is clear, centered around Kruger’s outline of the progression
of coveting. By the end of the book, you have memorized this outline since it’s
woven into every chapter. The book focuses on scriptural examples, and
helpfully analyzes the failures and successes (spiritually-speaking) shown in
the text. There’s no painful and alien meaning imposed on the passages.
Contentment is a rare thing in this world, and we are programmed to be
discontent and led toward coveting in a million different ways every day. It is
important to be purposeful in self-assessing ourselves and tracing the root
coveting in so many of our conflicts, dissatisfactions, motivations, etc. This
book does a good job equipping the reader toward that goal.
A few gems:
• “…our inordinate
desires are never solved by attainment…our greatest malady is not our set of
circumstances, but the blindness and hardness that overtakes our hearts…our
difficult circumstances and places of longing are not cause to covet, but are
God’s invitation to come and find life in Him alone…we must accept that our
covetous desires arise because of our sin, not our situations” (pg. 25,26).
• Coveting “is
an inward sin pattern, not an outward circumstance” (pg. 28).
• “Our lack of
contentment primarily flows from unbelief regarding God’s sovereignty and
goodness in our lives” (pg. 48).
• “Coveting is
desiring anything other than God in a way that betrays a loss of contentment
and satisfaction in Him. Covetousness is a heart divided between two gods. So
Paul calls it idolatry” (pg. 49). Paul says this in Colossians 3:5.
• “Place any
earthly jewel beside the treasure found in Christ and it will appear as but
dust. Our coveting exposes that we have set our hearts upon earthly gain. The
more we seek our treasure outside of Christ, the more we falsely believe that
God is lacking in His goodness to us. Essentially, our coveting accuses God of
a failure to reign well over the events in our lives” (pg. 56).
• “…we begin
to equate God’s goodness with how often He gives us what we want” (pg. 58). I
wrote in the margin that this is a Gospel-denying mindset.
• “…coveting
reveals our unbelief about our citizenship. Our persistent desire to gain life
here and to acquire all that this world has to offer reveals our belief that
this life is the destination, rather than a journey to our final home” (pg.
62).
• “Satan wants
us to believe that we cannot control what we long after or that if we have a
longing, it must be good, in spite of God’s instruction…although we cannot
always choose what we see, we can choose what we set our heart upon” (pg. 75).
• “Being part
of a church is more than just attending; it includes membership and regular
participation in the sacraments” (pg. 107).
• “As
Christians, we are called to obedience not just in how we live, but also in
what we think about” (pg. 111).
• “The best
way to take off the tendency to complain is to put on thankfulness. Each day we
must actively choose to see what God has provided. Once we begin to look at our
life through these lenses and focus our eyes on His goodness to us, our hearts
will flow thanksgiving instead of complaining. Our outward grumbling is a sure
sign of inner coveting” (pg. 134).
• “Being in
the church does not mean that we will be insulated from painful relationships.
However, it is our only hope for establishing healthy ones” (pgs. 190-191).
• “Their eyes
feared the next season, despaired in their current season and incorrectly
remembered the previous season. Their inner unbelief allowed them to interpret
all their circumstances without hope in the Lord’s ability to fulfill all His
promises” (pg. 203).
The discussion questions at the end of each chapter are substantial,
and often contain additional material supplemental to the chapter. This book
would be really beneficial to and lends itself to a small-group setting.
In speaking to a brother in Christ about reading this book, he asked
how it was different because a woman wrote it. I told him the style is more
relational. This isn’t to say it’s any less deep or wise than a man’s writing (the
content is really good!), but that it’s just different. Different is good.
On a peripheral note, I am grateful to God that in recent years He has
raised up so many solid, powerful sisters in the faith to write and teach
fellow sisters. I grieve at how much shallow material is produced and marketed
toward Christian women. It is a relief to have depth in writers/teachers like
Melissa Kruger. As a pastor, I have said the following several times when congregants
ask for my evaluation of some popular women’s teacher: “There are many better
options. My sisters can do better. They must do better.”
(I was grateful that, when it came time to read “a book targeted at the
opposite gender,” my bride had a great library from which to choose. The only
downside – for her – is that I read books with a highlighter and pen…reading
this book will be, for her, a big “your husband was here” sign.)
